But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
