Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
