did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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