That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
