We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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