so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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