I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
