My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
