i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
