I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
