The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
