How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
