Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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