Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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