well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
