dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
