im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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