you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
