Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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