he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Terrible idea I love it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
