Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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