I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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