I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
