so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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