I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
