and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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