ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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