whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
