help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
