Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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