i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
