I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
