I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
