This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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