i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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