I hope mine doesn't look like that
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
