come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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