It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
