i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
