just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
