My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
