I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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