I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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