About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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