Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
