Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
