come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
