Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
