My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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