Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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